Open Question: another blonde joke !!! i think its funny !!! do you?

Two blondes are walking down the road. One notices a > compact on > > the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, > looks in the > > mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The > second blonde > > says, 'Here, let me look!' So the first blonde hands her the > compact. > > The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, > it's me!'

4 Jul 2008, 9:42 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: I took an IQ test and scored 101 what does this score mean?

Am I a dummy? or do I have a great brain? Be gentle with me!

4 Jul 2008, 8:57 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: what is the best way to :?

blow your load bludgeon the beefsteak bop the baloney box the jesuit and receive cockroaches boxin' the bald champ buff the banana buff the torpedo burp the baby burp the worm busting a nut butter the corn choke Kojak choke the chicken choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to arrive clamp the pipe clean your rifle climb Mount Baldy closet Frisbee arrive into your possess consulting Dr Hans Jerkov cook the cream of cock corral the tadpoles drain the monster engage in safe sex fist fuck fist your mister five knuckle shuffle flog the dog flog the dong flog the hog flog the log flog your mule fondle the fig Free Willy friggit gallup the antelope genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion receive a date with Slick Mittens receive a grip on yourself receive the German soldier marching receive to know yourself give it a tug go a couple of rounds with ol' josh go on a date with Handrea and Palmela grease the pipe hack the hog hack off hand work-out have a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake have a date with Fisty Palmer have a date with palm of your handerson (Pamela Anderson) have a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters have it off have sex with someone you adore hitchhike to heaven hitchhike below the big top hold the sausage hostage hug the hog hump your hose jack hammer jack off jazz yourself jerk off jerkin' the Gherkin jerking the joint juggling the coullions killing kittens (as in "everytime you wank, God kills a kitten") meat with mom Thumb and her four daughters knuckle shuffle on the ol' piss pump lope the mule make instant pudding make the bald man puke making adore to the shower mangle the midget manipulate the mango manual override master bacon meet Rosie Hancock milk the cow milk the lizard mount a corporal and four nerk your throbber null the void oil the glove pound your flounder tug off tug rank tug the carrot tug the cord tug the five-knuckle shuffle tug the goalie tug the pole tug the pope tug the tool tug your pud tug your prick tug your taffy pump the python punchin' the munchkin ram the ham ride the great white knuckler roll your possess rope the pony rope the pope rub off rub one out run off a batch by hand sacrifice sperm to the god of lonely nights scour the tower of power self abuse self-induced penile regurgitation shag shake hands with the unemployed shake hands with your John Thomas shake hands with your wife's best pal shemp the hog shift gears shine the helmet shine your pole shoot putty at the moon shoot skeet (tug...shoot) shoot the moon slakin' the bacon slam the ham slam the spam slammin' the salmon slap high fives with Yul Brynner slap the carrot slap the clown slap the donkey slap the pud slap the salami slappin' pappy sling the jelly snap the monkey snap the rubber snap the snake snap the whip solo sex spank the frank spank the monkey spank the salami spilling the seed squeeze the cheese squeeze the juice squeeze the squirrel stickin' it slick stinky pinky stir the yogurt stoke it strangle the Pope stroke it stroke off stroke the one-eyed burping gecko stroke the dog stroke the satin-headed serpent stroke your poker stroking Willie the one-eyed wonder-worm take matters into your possess hands take the monster for a one-armed ride take part in population control tease the weenie tenderize the tube steak test the testicles test your batteries the art of Unisex the lonliest date tickly my fancy tickle the pickle toss off toss the turkey twang the wire thump the pump tweak your twinkie varnish the flagpole wack the one-eyed worm wack the weasel wack the willie walk the dog walk the plank wank wax the carrot wax the dolphin wax your surfboard whack off whip off whip the dummy whip the wire whip the willie whip up some sour cream whip your dripper whizzin' jism wixen wonk your conker work off wrestle the eel wring out your rope wrist aerobics yank off yank the crank yank your plank yank the yoyo

4 Jul 2008, 8:24 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Anybody know a suitable krava maga teacher in Anchorage?

Im new to training and want to practise in a suitable school. I have been well-advised that there are some close to but need counsel on how and where to learn. It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm to train on.http://www.martialarm.com

4 Jul 2008, 8:20 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Is this because of my birth control or something else?

Like a dummy, I took my birth control pill this morning without food. I usually drink milk with it and that works, but this was %1 milk, so when I started feeling the usual stomach upset from taking a pill on an empty stomach I thought the lowfat milk was the reason. However, it's a little after 6:30 PM now and my stomach still feels odd. Has anyone else ever had stomach upset due to the pill last this long, or is this probably some stomach virus? Either way I'm going on the BRAT diet for a while.

4 Jul 2008, 6:38 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: What programs should I get to start producing music from my home computer? have no xperience. Musician & Sing?

I know Mac's are the best but I have a dell. I don't want to spend a whole lot of money and buy something I will not be able to use. I bought a book "PC recording for dummies" but not the best info. I want to be able to mix and master my music and record others and to receive their project on cd. Thanks.

4 Jul 2008, 6:29 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: CPR - dummy, manikin?

Um, i'm a bit worried about my CPR cause i'm not too good at it and i want to practice at home but i don't have the dummy. How much does the dummy cost? (app.) Is it VERY expensive like 1000 dollars?

4 Jul 2008, 6:27 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: help my 7 .5month old sleep better at night?

i have a 7.5 month old daughter, she is bottle fed but not sleeping well at night, this is our bedtime routine, she has dinner (solids) then bath then top up with bottle, let that settle then goes to bed, between 8-8.30pm, she falls asleep perfectly but she stirs within 2 hours so i have to go in and put her dummy in, as she isn't wanting a feed cause she wont take it, then she'll have another bottle about 10.30 - 11am top up so she can go a little longer but then we're up at 2am but wont take a full feed and doesn't really want it and then she'll be restless if i dont give her the bottle and if i give it to her she'll be awake at 5am again for another top up. What can i do to help her snooze a longer stretch, i know when a person says 'sleeping through' it can be 5 hours or more, but she doesn't even do that, she use to snooze really well at about 5 months, use to be 7 hours, but not anymore, please help, i'm so sleepy!!!! she still has 2 or 3 sleeps a day, ranging from 1-2 hours, but i do make sure she doesn't have a snooze too close to bed time but as i said she falls asleep fine but she's just restless.. Just need advice. so sleepy I've tried taking out a nap but she is just to restless and we have an even worse night.. her last nap isn't that long as i wake her up, but sometimes she only has 2 naps but its what she needs.

4 Jul 2008, 5:20 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Demi Lavato or Dummy Lovenotto?

I think Dummy Lovenotto.Because she has like a 7 inch mouth and she tries to act sexy like when you watch this video look for her dancing with Alyson Stoner(aly is wearin green and dummy is wearin red and black) when it receive's to 1:35 you should look to the left and look dummy moving away her scarf to reveal her boobs. http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=We+Rock&hl=en&sitesearch=# Fastforward to 1:25 then wait till it gets to 1:35, quickly look to the left and look her move her scarf to reveal(you don't really look her boobs but she moves her scarf so you can look a better veiw of them)(PSP click on the blue words to watch it)

4 Jul 2008, 3:42 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Anyone know a good self defense dojo in Coventry?

Im new to learning and desire to practice in a good school. I have been notified that there are a couple close to but need counsel on how and where to train. It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm to train on.http://www.martialarm.com

4 Jul 2008, 3:04 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Anybody know a suitable self defence school in South Carolina?

Im new to practiceing and want to learn in a proper school. I have been well-advised that there are a few around but desire opinion on how and where to practise. It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm to train on.http://www.martialarm.com

4 Jul 2008, 3:03 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Who knows a goods ninjutsu school now in Oxford ?

I have just transferred hereand desire to practise.State any good school if it is in the downtown area.It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm kung fu home training partner. http://www.martialarm.com What do you think?

4 Jul 2008, 2:58 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Who knows a goods karate dojo now in Tulsa ?

I have simply transferred hereand desire to practice.Bring up any good school if it is in the downtown area.It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm kung fu home training partner. http://www.martialarm.com What do you think?

4 Jul 2008, 2:51 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: If the payroll admin never deducts fed or state taxes from her check, is that legal-could it hurt the company?

we make the same, and she takes out her medi and ss, but she zeros out any fed or state taxes on each paycheck. she claims married and 0, could the company receive in trouble, or is it every on her if she gets audited? i feel she's creating a dummied W-2 at year end for herself? any input?

4 Jul 2008, 1:53 am | click here for answers

Open Question: how can we refresh the internet connection?

i mean, there should be a way. rebooting the router, disconnecting everything for the whole night, ipconfig /renew, flush dns.. dunno, i'm a dummy at computers but i believe there should be a way to 'refresh' the internet connection, like how we 'refresh' the system when we reboot the computer. can anyone tell me how, please?

4 Jul 2008, 1:41 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Do I need a new alternator or new wires??

So i just bought this 1994 audi 100s. The owner of the car said it needed the new battery and when i connected the battery the front of the engine started to smoke (close the alternator) but difficult to tell exactly where due to every of the engine covers. well i drove the car home and around the whole day got the alternator checked ant it was only putting out 11.8 when it should be 12.5 (what i was told). Now im not exactly sure what the problem is but when i let the car sit, it just turns off after the battery dummy light starts blinking. ANY HELP?????

4 Jul 2008, 12:49 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: ninjutsu master in Lincoln?

Anybody here training? I adore to train day to day so a 7 day a week instructor is paramount.I am believed of obtaining a wooden dummy? What do you think?

4 Jul 2008, 12:46 am | click here for answers

Open Question: How do I download songs from a website, onto my computer, and then onto my Ipod?

I am a dummy when it comes to computers, itunes and ipods. Please fill me in on whether I always need itunes, How to download songs, whether or not i can transfer them from Windows Media player and, generally, HOW????? ): Suggestions on good downloading sites would REALLY be appreciated.

4 Jul 2008, 12:37 am | click here for answers

Open Question: savate dojo in Roseville?

Somebody here practising? I adore to practise each day so a 7 day a week instructor is best.I am believed of buying a wooden dummy? What do you think?

4 Jul 2008, 12:37 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Tank Girl Movie Vs. Tank Girl Comics?

I just watched the movie and I thought that it was pretty good even though I read that Martin and Hewitt said that it was a complete disaster. But I noticed a lot of differences in the film. Esspecially how Booga was more of a dummy in the film whille in the comics, he's just a partying male. Did anyone notice differences between the two?

4 Jul 2008, 12:11 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Is it worth it to practice Iron Kung-Fu and hit makiwari's and kick smoth poles and stuff for competition?

Likeif I plan to start Muay Thai kick boxing than should I do the whole Iron Kung-Fu with bone hardening drills or should I focus on the bag. As it is just hitting the bag can cause some tendon soreness. Also where vcan I learn good Iron Kung-Fu and makiwari drills . ALso are Mook Jong dummies really that good? I mean if I am not a trained figther who knwos how to do trapping? Cause I am not. Also how viable is the method of receive so big and strong that no one really wnats to battle you in the first place so you can be peacefull? I think thats my favorite as I don't have to battle and can look good for my girl.

4 Jul 2008, 11:20 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Can somebody explain what De Profundis means ?

I just want some information about it, I know it was a poem written by Oscar Wilde and I also know that it is a piece of classical music. I have read the wikipedia page for it and probably due to having no previous knowledge of Penitential Psalms and very little knowledge of religion in general, I have no idea what it really means and could do with a trimmed down "guide for dummies" version in a couple of paragraphs. I would also like to know it's translation as I understand it is in Latin. Thanks, Dan

4 Jul 2008, 11:19 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Anyone have any advice for me taking the GRE (Graduation test for grad school) soon???

I am taking the GRE test this tuesday. Was wondering if anyone knows any helpful hints or any advice. I have been studying for it using GRE for dummies and a few others. I have taken a few practice tests but I want to know if its tough or what is the deal with this test. I need a 400 on each section to receive into grad school which hopefully isnt to difficult. Please leave any advice or websites you can thanks

4 Jul 2008, 11:17 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Needing advice about the GRE please help!!1?

I am taking the GRE tuesday . Yes thats coming up very soon but I have been practicing alot. I read the whole GRE for dummies book and I have been taking a few practice tests. I just recently read about the GRE bible . Was wondering if anyone had any advice for me or any websites that I can receive practice tests from. I just want the most updated questions and tips for this test. Thanks

4 Jul 2008, 10:53 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Why are some of my words not on my website? The words are under the bottom and not on the site page.?

How can I fix this? Im using html. I tried the <*br><*br> (without the *), but didn't kow where to put them. My site is:http://www.strongstennisacademy.com Can you explain this so a dummy can understand please? CSS? Do I change this in the index source or go to my file page and css file(cascading page)? If so I change what to what?

4 Jul 2008, 10:02 am | click here for answers

Resolved Question: The display on my compaq laptop screen is huge. How can I make it normal again?

After doing some pretty major stuff to my compaq windows xp laptop, the display on the screen has gotten huge. For example, the mouse cursor is much larger than it used to be, along with the icons, etc.... How can I make the display normal sized again so it will fit on the screen? And note that I'm nice of a 'dummy' with this nice of stuff so try to be pretty specific. Whoever explains this well enough will be rewarded with a five-star "best answer" from me. Thanks for your time... Here are some pictures of what the screen looks like. Sorry that the quality is pretty bad: http://i26.tinypic.com/2sbx1ly.jpg http://i28.tinypic.com/206bosx.jpg http://i25.tinypic.com/21ctmx2.jpg http://i32.tinypic.com/2vwcm6t.jpg http://i26.tinypic.com/14prw0.jpg http://i27.tinypic.com/344updu.jpg

3 Jul 2008, 9:21 pm | click here for answers

Resolved Question: Tarkovsky for Dummies?

Can anyone explain or give the link for the explanations (spiritual, psychilogical and symbolical) for every Andrei Tarkovsky films?

3 Jul 2008, 9:16 am | click here for answers

Open Question: British/American Politics Books?

First history books, now politics :P I need some books explaining the British and American political systems (two seperate books please, not one that covers both) Again, I've considered the "...for Dummies" books but I'd like to look if there's better options out there first.

3 Jul 2008, 8:55 am | click here for answers

Open Question: British/American/World History Books.?

I'm looking for some good History books. I like history so whether it's "easy to read" or not really doesn't bother me though I'd like three different types of books: British history, US History and World History. I've considered the "...for Dummies" books but I think I'd like to try out some other books first. Any suggestions?

3 Jul 2008, 8:54 am | click here for answers

Open Question: So I get married June 21st and it was a wonderful day but can't stop obsessing about the things that went wron

Like I wasn't looking at Mike when I went down the aisle. I was really nervous and screwed my lines up. Hmm the reception the DJ didn't really play any of my songs. I asked him not to play electric slide and solder boy and he did. I called the florist like a million times because a bridemaid dropped out. She I had 5 guys and 4 girls and she still did 4 guys. And screwed up the mothers flowers after we told her a millon times. Hmm what else when we were taking photos we took pictures of the family but just the parents, the groom's sister was not in any, but she was in the bridal party. But now the groom's family really upset about that. Oh then the DJ we told him specific songs and he didn't play any of them. Told him not to play solider boy or electric slide and he did. And a bunch of other crap that was not even on my list I typed up for him. Oh and when we clip the cake no one even got up to witness it because they DJ didn't say anything, So we were standing there like dummies. And to top it off my bouqet was set down and thrown away. Then the honeymoon bought every the stuff for my scrapbook and my husband lost it every. Now I will never have the picture of the whole family that just sucks. And the groom's parents never said oh you look nice, I don't even think I talked to them at every.

3 Jul 2008, 8:16 am | click here for answers

Open Question: If you accept that man is the cause of global warming, please help me understand this.?

When hurricane Katrina hit, We were told, ‘its clear sign of what we could expect to arrive from gw. We can expect it to only receive worse, with huge loses due to these massive storms that occur as a result of GW. But when the next three years pass and hurricanes are almost non-existent, and these same scientist are asked about this, they shrug and seem perplexed as they say, ‘uneducated lot, can’t tell the difference between GW and the weather.’ So my question is this, Is it only harsh conditions that = GW and everything else that occurs = weather? Please help us needy dummies understand your logic.

3 Jul 2008, 8:14 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Lol- Dummy?

OK so first off if you've heard this one before sorry- I want the people who havent heard it to hear it. :) There are two men out hunting with guns. One falls down dead. The pal starts freaking out and doesn't know what to do. He calls 911 on his cell phone and the operator answers and asks what the emergency is, the guy yells "I think my pal is dead and i don't know what to do." The operator says "first make sure that your pal is dead." There is a slight pause when every of a sudden the operator heres a gunshot over the reciever. Then the hunter says, "Okay, now what?"

3 Jul 2008, 7:20 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Am i doing the right thing?am i inocent?read my details....plz help me!!!?

so there's this girl on myspace and sh'es my freind and i sed watz up?she sed i'm wuking on a fu** in project..so i sed then why are u on myspace if ur wurkin on a project dummy?and she sed cuz i minimized my myspace page and i 'v been workin on this fu**in project since 3 days ago and i still need like bout 2 days to finish it an i'm not nearly done with dis sh*it yet so i bareley went to myspace in 3 days so i'm wurkin on this freekin project!and then i started cursin @ her cuz i thought she was insultin me cuz i did'nt know any better i mean i did'nt know wat she was tlkin about i knew she was sayin bad stuff but i THOUGHT she was sayin it about me ... and i sed i was soo sorry and I DLETED MY MYSPACE FOR HER!!! and she hates me....so wat do i do?am i inocent? is she supposed to forgive me??pleaz help me!

3 Jul 2008, 5:49 pm | click here for answers

Resolved Question: Do the "for dummies" books really work?

Tring to learn spanish.

3 Jul 2008, 3:43 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Has anyone ever purchased the book dieting for dummies and was it worth is...did it help you to lose weight?

and keep it off..if you dont recommend this book please tell me of any that really will help

3 Jul 2008, 3:38 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: dummy for a breastfed baby?

i have a two month old and im breastfeeding her at the moment, i was wondering if giving her a dummy would be a good idea now? any suggestions?? because i breastfeed i was wondering how long would it take for my periods to return as its already been two months since she was born and i havent had any??

3 Jul 2008, 2:49 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Okay I have finished the basics of Judaism?

I read a few books on the basics like Judaism for Dummies, To be a Jew and other such books like that and I have read various websites. But can you recommend any websites where I can study into Judaism in its more advanced forms? e.citizen: You fail at trolling, you are anti-lulz

3 Jul 2008, 2:29 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Will the Democrats next: push, pull, squeeze and blow up a dummy and offer it for President?

3 Jul 2008, 1:54 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Anyone know a proper krava maga master in Colorado Springs?

Im new to training and want to train in a suitable school. I have been notified that there are a couple just about but desire opinion on how and where to train. It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm to train on.

3 Jul 2008, 1:47 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Anyone know a proper shorin-ryu school in Tallahassee?

Im new to training and want to practice in a good school. I have been informed that there are some around but desire recommendation on how and where to practice. It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm to train on.

3 Jul 2008, 1:42 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: wing chun teacher around the area of Connecticut?

Anyone here training? I adore to practise day to day so a 7 day a week instructor is paramount.I am contemplation of purchasing a wooden dummy? or a martialarm kung fu home training partner. http://www.martialarm.com What do you think?

3 Jul 2008, 1:41 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Someone know a good shaolin kung fu school in Santa Rosa?

Im new to training and want to learn in a proper school. I have been told that there are a few just about but desire suggestion on how and where to train. It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm to train on.

3 Jul 2008, 1:40 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Can little kids get depression?

What IS depression exactly? My younger sister has been...really negative lately... She keeps messing things up, dresses messy-ish, doesn't do her hair neat-ish, and keeps saying things like," I'm a stupid baka (idiot)" or "I'm a babo (dummy)" I asked her why she's acting different lately but she doesn't answer and just stares stupidly at me. Is this depression or something? Can 8 year olds receive depression?

3 Jul 2008, 1:40 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Somebody know a proper karate school in Winchester?

Im new to training and want to practise in a good school. I have been informed that there are one or two close to but need advice on how and where to practise. It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm to train on.

3 Jul 2008, 1:40 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Who knows a goods ninjutsu teacher now in Huntington Beach ?

I have just transferred hereand desire to learn.Point out any good school if it is in the downtown area.It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm kung fu home training partner. http://www.martialarm.com What do you think?

3 Jul 2008, 1:39 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Anyone know a suitable eskrima school in Santa Rosa?

Im new to training and desire to learn in a suitable school. I have been notified that there are some close to but desire advice on how and where to practise. It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm to train on.

3 Jul 2008, 1:38 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Anybody know a good ninjutsu master in Durham?

Im new to training and want to practice in a proper school. I have been informed that there are one or two close to but desire suggestion on how and where to train. It would be especially great if the school had wooden dummies or a martialarm to train on.

3 Jul 2008, 1:37 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: karate teacher around the area of Birmingham?

Somebody here training? I adore to practice daily so a 7 day a week instructor is paramount.I am thinking of acquiring a wooden dummy? or a martialarm kung fu home training partner. http://www.martialarm.com What do you think?

3 Jul 2008, 1:35 pm | click here for answers

Open Question: Where can I buy an authentic, stand alone (not wall mounted) wing chun wooden dummy?

I want a real one, like the ones the Chinese masters use. As a girl I can't wall mount it (sorry girls if some of you can, just don't have those boy skills!) I have tried ebay without success. Do you have any ideas? Importing from China is not practical due to the weight, so it has to be from within the UK.

3 Jul 2008, 10:12 am | click here for answers

Open Question: Suomi M-31?

Does anyone know where I can receive a Suomi M-31 parts kit, I would like to turn it into a dummy, Please let me know, thanks

3 Jul 2008, 10:03 am | click here for answers